Shallow
by ShinigamiDeathscytheSan
Summary: Heero struggles to find solace during the war, even going as far as to attempt suicide in order to get it. For Nasa-Maxwell-Yuy on deviantart. angst, song-fic, yaoi 1x2. ONESHOT


**Finally finished it! wrote this for **Nasa-Maxwell-Yuy**'s picture over on dA :D here's the link **http:/ /nasa-m /art/Shal low-177732 937

**so yeah! i had a lot of fun writing this, even though the angsty-ness kinda took a lot outta me... nehoo, enjoy! **

**oh and btw, the song is 'Shallow' by Poets of the Fall. go check it out!  
**

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Shallow

Fic-Pic for Nasa-Maxwell-Yuy

_ More in my face than is my taste_

_I grow so weary I'll surrender_

_To what they say Let them lead the way_

_Till' I can no longer remember_

Dark. The night and the water were one with the darkness, the line between ocean and sky having long since blurred with the sunset. Heero Yuy stood on the edge of the cliff, deep navy eyes staring out emotionlessly into the cold. The gentle, salty, yet near icy wind tickled his skin, made the hairs on his arms prick up in an unacknowledged chill.

But that was a mere moment, frozen in time for seemingly an eternity, until Heero turned, cold eyes scanning the darkness of the land. He could hear them, ganging up on him, about to try to capture him. They thought that they had him cornered. They thought for sure that he wasn't about to jump... though he thought that he might... He had failed a mission one too many times, for the last time. He felt jaded. He couldn't take it anymore, the regret of killing innocents, the chaos of war wreaking havoc on his weary soul. It was too much to handle. He was making no change in the course of the war... Heero knew that it was finally time to give up the fight. At least in death, Heero himself would find peace...

A slight, almost unnoticeable flicker of melancholy creased Heero's features for another short moment. As the chilly minutes went by, he could see the darkness before him moving, shadows within growing closer, cautiously, carefully. It was too dark for Heero to see clearly. A brief thought crossed his mind—did he end it all now, or did he let them take him, do what they would with him first, before putting him out of his misery? Would he die now, coldly and quickly, or would he allow himself to be tortured, as a way to atone for his many sins...? Would he end it now, or would he let them take over, run his life, steal away what individuality he might have gained? Would he kill himself now, quickly, peacefully, or would he let them make the process slow and demoralizing?

Heero kept a straight face when they finally emerged into his hazy field of vision. The black shadows were still one with the darkness, however, and he could not make sense of what he was seeing through the fog of grief. But Heero knew better. He knew that it was _them_, coming for him, trying to _stop_ him. Heero didn't... In a rare moment of humanity, Heero realized that he did not want the torture that would surely come if he let them have him. He simply wanted peace, solitude, safety from the torturous warring world.

Heero took a wary step back, the icy breath hitching in his throat when his back hit the chilly railing near the edge of the cliff. He reached behind him, calloused palms wrapping around that metal railing. The shiny, cold steel burned his bare hands with the feeling of being frozen. He could see them clearly now, the shadows apparent against the haze of night. He could see one of them take a few steps forward from the group, beckoning to him, urging him to come closer. "This isn't like you," they told him. "Don't do this to yourself," they said. "We need you here." "Please, you're too important to die." "You're making a mistake." "Suicide isn't the right way to end it." "You're so stoic; this shouldn't affect you." "...What will we do if you die?"

"Shut up!" Heero cried out, unable to take it anymore. The voices abruptly went very quiet. He was going to jump. His mind was made up. He would have no more of this. Heero turned for a mere moment, pulling himself up onto the railing, balancing on the metal with the balls of his feet. He faced them, stared down at them, not saying a word.

"C'mon, don't do this," one of them pleaded, stepping closer and closer, "Just come down from there, come back with us, and I promise you everything's gonna be fine. Please, just... don't kill yourself yet."

But Heero didn't listen. He didn't want to go with them, not anymore. He didn't believe that everything would be alright. He didn't believe that _he_ would be alright. If anything, Heero's mind was even more made up now. Anything to avoid the torture, to escape the harshness of his existence peacefully. Heero was... he didn't want to fight anymore. Heero closed his eyes, trying to focus on the sound of ocean crashing against the cliff below; his shoulders sagged as his body relaxed. With a quiet sigh of chilled breath, Heero let himself fall, his shoes slipping from the metal railing as he began his plummet backwards and down into the water. The sensation of falling was not unfamiliar, and he knew that it would soon be over... Heero ignored the devastated cries, shutting out the voices of the few people he knew so well.

There was only one cry that managed to make it through to him, however. "HEERO!" it was Duo, no doubt leaning over the railing, held back by the others, about to shove himself off the edge in an attempt to rescue the suicidal pilot. Duo was surely—

And then, before he could even continue that thought, Heero's body collided with the black water. He might've let out a startled whimper, or even a full out cry of pain, but the cold and the hurt were simply too much to handle for him to be aware of it. Heero was unconscious not even a moment after his fall came to a very abrupt end. And yet, his body was not through yet. After only a short few moments of simply laying there, floating on the icy black, Heero began to sink, deeper into the water, his body completely lax as the depths began to take their hold.

Finally, it was over. Heero had found his peace, even if it was in death. He could let go of everything, even as the icy waters enveloped him.

The last gasp of breath that he had managed left Heero's sinking body in the form of tiny bubbles, momentarily trailing up from his slightly open mouth to the surface above. His unconscious form rocked with the current, sinking deeper, swaying side to side with the flow of the ocean as it crashed against the cliffs. Further and further, the liquid black was enveloping, chilling his body and pulling it down, deeper and deeper... It wouldn't be long until Heero was lost, till he finally found the peace and solitude that he had sought. It wouldn't be long until his heart gave its last, shuddering beat...

. . .

_My darling dreams, prewritten scenes,_

_Whatever felt my own_

_So to save face I'll take my place_

_Where I may safely feel alone_

. . .

"HEERO!" Duo screeched, lunging at the railing, about to fling himself over the edge after the suicidal pilot. "NOOOOO! HEEEEEEERRROOOO!" he cried as the others grabbed him, holding him back from the precipice. Duo fought them, crying out and struggling to dive into the icy ocean after Heero. He was hysterical, tears streaming from his eyes stronger than ever before. He had to rescue Heero...! Save him from Death's greedy clutches! Duo... Duo cared about Heero too much to let him die!

"Stop it, Duo! You can't go after him!" Quatre shouted, standing in front of Duo with his hands flat on the other's chest, pushing him back as the others pulled him from behind. "You'll die too if you jump off that cliff!"

"I don't care! Let me go!" Duo fought harder, trying to get the other pilots to let him go, to let him dive into the icy water and try to rescue Heero. If Heero died, then Duo would too, surely. Duo didn't want that to happen. He wanted Heero to live. He wanted to pay Heero back for rescuing him from OZ. He wanted to win the war with Heero by his side. He wanted to someday see Heero smile. He... he wanted to tell Heero how much he cared about him. Duo wasn't going to just give up and let Heero die!

Duo somehow managed to free his right arm from Wufei's near-iron grip, and he swung around, his fist colliding with Trowa's hard chest. It was enough to startle the Heavyarms pilot, and Duo's constant writhing got him free not even a moment later. He was at the cliff, up on the railing before anyone could even react. "I'll save him!" Duo declared, his back to the other pilots—a bold shadow against the black horizon line, Duo stood, resolve unwavering. "I'll bring Heero back alive!" Duo gave one quick look around in the darkness, his violet eyes just barely able to make out a sandy beach somewhere to the left of the cliff. That's where he'd swim to once he got Heero. And with that, Duo jumped.

The fall was short, and he landed feet first like a soldier, as he had once been trained to. The icy, salty water was everywhere, and the black of night was blinding. He was disoriented, to say the least. Instinct was all Duo had to rely on to determine which way was up. The waterproof flashlight, which Duo kept in a sort of holster under his shirt, was surely about to come in handy. He could feel his clothing weighing him down, making his movements sluggish as he pulled out the flashlight and clicked it on, shining it every which way.

The underwater world before him was a complete blur. Odd shapes, some dark, others simply too bleary, flashed across his vision as he turned in every direction. He couldn't hold his breath forever. When Duo was about to temporarily give up and return to the surface for air, he suddenly was able to make out a blurry blotch of forest green and pale skin. Heero!

Duo, clenching his mouth shut tighter, as if it would help him hold his breath longer, swam towards the shadow that was Heero. He could feel the pressure increasing, and his senses told him that he was swimming downwards, deeper into the icy ocean. And then Duo's hand wrapped around Heero's upper arm. The current around them seemed to suddenly grow stronger.

But Duo fought it. Now that he had his grip on Heero, he wrapped an arm around the other pilot's chest and began the strenuous swim to the surface. He'd make it. He knew he would. He wouldn't die this late in the game. He couldn't. Heero's body was completely limp, languid, lifeless as Duo hauled him upwards. Duo was exhausted before he even made it to the line separating air and water. The pressure in his lungs was nearing unbearable. Duo was putting everything he had into kicking, swimming, pulling Heero's dead weight up to the surface—and yet it seemed as if he wasn't moving at all. But he refused to give up.

_Glad the waters are so shallow_

_When the river runs so cold_

_Glad the waters are so shallow_

_When the river runs cold_

And then, he wasn't holding his breath anymore. Duo was gasping for air, trying to hold Heero up above the surface as well as they rocked with the current for a few moments. Duo thought he might've heard the others shouting to him, but his focus was directed elsewhere as he struggled to breathe and keep himself and Heero above the water. It wasn't long before he started the swim to shore, his odd sense of direction guiding him though the darkness. Duo did his best to keep Heero's face above water, so that he would still be able to breathe. Swimming at the water's surface, constantly being pushed and shoved by the current, was nearly as difficult as dragging Heero up from the watery depths.

The others were shouting, crying out from where they remained at the top of the cliff, but Duo couldn't hear them. He was virtually deaf with the roar of the ocean and the constant water splashing in and out of his ears as he struggled to keep his head above water. And yet, Duo knew it would only be a matter of time until he would be able to feel sand under his feet. A mouthful of saltwater instead of air nearly drowned Duo, choking him for a moment before he was able to get his mouth out of the water and fill his lungs with oxygen. Duo swam for what felt like hours, but couldn't have been more than minutes, all the while not knowing if he had been too late in rescuing Heero or not.

Finally, Duo's feet met sand and he wasn't swimming anymore. Instead he was trudging out of the water, now half carrying half dragging Heero with him. Duo gripped Heero around the waist, while holding the other's arm over his shoulder—Heero did not stir, not in the slightest. When Duo finally came out of the icy water, he nearly collapsed then and there, face first into the coarse, thick sand. His breathing was heavy, labored, panting as he carried Heero away from the rising tide, to a dry patch of sand. He knelt down, laying Heero flat on his back—the gritty particles instantly stuck to their wet skin and clothing.

Duo took a moment to catch his breath, taking his flashlight and turning to face the huge cliff where the other pilots were. He turned on the tiny beam, shining it in that direction, flashing it on and off, surely alerting the others that he was safe and sound. After that though, Duo turned to gaze down at the unmoving form that was Heero lying in the sand. Duo's jaw tensed as he noticed the state that the other was in. Heero was deathly still, inanimate; the usually slow rise and fall of his chest had completely ceased. His body was cold, oh so cold, and when Duo clutched Heero's wrist, he could just barely feel a pulse. Panic began to set in. This couldn't be. Heero couldn't die. Why wasn't he breathing? No...!

Fighting off the panic, Duo leaned in and... and pressed his lips to Heero's— in something that was far from a kiss—and began to breathe into the other's unresponsive body, forcing the air to resume its instinctive flow. Heero... Heero could _not_ die. In the dim, near pitch black of the night, Duo pulled away a bit, watching Heero's chest carefully as it fell with a reflexive exhale. Duo held his hand near Heero's mouth—was he breathing on his own yet? No... Duo breathed into Heero's unresponsive body again... and again. It wasn't until nearly a full minute later, after about ten breaths, that Heero was finally gasping and shuddering for air on his own, his body suddenly trembling. With extreme relief, Duo helped Heero to role over onto his side, rubbing his back gently as the other coughed hoarsely, his body instinctively trying to rid itself of whatever water may have gotten into his lungs. When Heero went somewhat still again, his entire body shaken by shivers, Duo rolled him over onto his backside, smiling lightly in accomplishment. He had saved Heero. He had succeeded in keeping Heero alive.

That smile was short lived, however, and it wasn't long until it had turned down into a weary frown. With the panic subsiding, Duo was finally able to feel his body's own predicament. He was so cold, just like Heero was, shivering and trembling as his wet clothes clung to his chilled skin. And yet, the icy ocean water had not only sapped every bit of warmth from his body, but all his strength as well. Duo was beyond exhausted. The vicious currents of the freezing, salty water had been so hard to swim through, so hard to rescue Heero from, that it was a wonder they had both made it out alive. With a quiet sigh, Duo fell forward, his head resting on Heero's chest. The world went blacker than it had already been, and his consciousness joined Heero's in the depths of oblivion.

. . .

_Glad the waters are so shallow_

_When the river runs so cold_

_Glad the waters are so shallow_

_When the river runs cold_

. . .

When Heero awoke, he found that he was lying in his own bed, the blankets drawn up and the room lit by the early morning sun. Was it all a dream? Letting himself fall into the ocean to drown? Heero turned his head, gazing across the room to see that Duo was sound asleep in his own bed—this seemed to confirm Heero's suspicions. But he knew better. He knew that the searing ache in his chest, the burn of his throat with every breath was not simply from a dream. He had been rescued. Somehow, before his body had surrendered to the watery depths, he had been saved. This was not how he had intended for it to happen.

Heero pushed himself up, hiding a wince behind his emotionless expression. He felt extremely dizzy, as well as the sense of a lingering chill. He shouldn't be alive anymore. Why couldn't he simply have the peace and solitude he sought? Would they stop him again if he tried to end it a second time? Heero didn't want to suffer with this life any longer. He didn't want to keep fighting the war. He didn't want them to control him in any way. He just...

Why did they stop his suicide?

Suppressing a groan of discomfort, Heero swung his legs over the edge of the bed and put his feet on the floor. The bed creaked, waking Duo on the other side of the room. Heero ignored the other, rising to his feet.

"Heero... Heero you're awake," Duo stated lazily, sleepily, becoming more lucid as he spoke. Heero paid no mind to it, starting to trudge over to the door.

"Heero, where are you going? You should stay in bed—you nearly drowned!" Duo was sitting up now, staring at Heero's backside. Heero ignored him, again.

"Heero, stop it! I won't let you go kill yourself!" Duo was up out of the bed now, his arms wrapped around Heero from behind, holding him back. Finally Heero was forced to acknowledge the other. And he did so by prying Duo's arms away from where they were clutching him around the torso, and turning to face Duo, a fierce glare in his cobalt eyes, hiding the glassines of tears.

"You can't stop me," Heero stated, voice as cold as the ocean he had nearly drowned in. Mouth set in a flat, almost angry line, Heero turned and simply continued walking to the door. He was almost there when both of Duo's hands grabbed his wrist. Heero froze.

Duo was sobbing from where he stood behind Heero, holding the other's wrist so tight, as if a looser grip would make Heero simply fade away. "Don't do it, Heero! Suicide isn't the way!"

How many times had he heard that now? Those few words had long since lost their meaning. Heero hardly even thought of killing himself as suicide, anyway; he didn't consider his life valuable enough for it to mean anything when he died. Was it so selfish to wish for solitude in his final moments? Heero just wanted to end it. His life was worthless, and all he would be was one more life lost during the war. Nothing worth even a hint of a thought.

"Please Heero, I'm begging you! We'll find a way! Anything to keep you here, alive...!"

Duo said no more. He couldn't. No, he was too busy stumbling back from the solid blow of Heero's fist connecting with his jaw. Heero remained still, not moving from where he stood for a few moments; he was turned on his heel, right arm outstretched with his hand balled into a tight fist, and a horribly livid glint in his frozen, clouded cobalt eyes. Duo held a hand over the soon-to-bruise mark on the side of his jaw, staring at Heero in fear and absolute shock. "You cannot stop me," Heero repeated icily. And then, not a moment later, Heero turned and left. Duo hesitated for only a minute or so before chasing after him—Heero was already in the safe house's kitchen.

"Oh, Heero, you're up," Quatre smiled innocently from where he sat at the kitchen table, oblivious to what had just gone on in the bedroom. Trowa nodded to Heero from where he sat next to Quatre; Wufei didn't even bother to look up from the old Chinese book he was reading. "How are you feeling? Are you hungry or anything?" continued Quatre, rising from his seat at the table.

Heero ignored him, continuing on his way to the back door at the other end of the kitchen. That was when Duo came bolting out from the hallway, nearly crashing into Heero. "I WON'T LET YOU GO, HEERO!" he shouted, sobbed, pleaded, latching onto Heero's arm again.

Without a single word, Heero whirled around, slipping out of Duo's grip and holding one of the other's arms tightly behind him, pinning it against his back. Duo cried out at the pain of his arm being bent at such an unnatural direction. The others acted not a moment later, struggling to get Heero to release Duo and hold him back. Despite the pain, Duo stayed strong, "I won't let you go, Heero..." he ground out, "I won't... even if... you kill me...!"

That struck a nerve deep beneath Heero's heartless exterior, stinging against his jaded soul. He released Duo instantly, letting the other pilots pull him back a step. Duo stumbled forward, his arm limp at his side as he clutched it; salty tears were beginning to form in his eyes.

"Duo..." Heero murmured, staring at the other's backside. He just didn't understand... his life meant nothing, yet why did Duo seem to value it so much? With a grunt, Heero pulled himself free from the other pilots, pushing past Duo without a word. The back door of the safe house slammed shut as Heero left, making his way out to the Gundam hangar.

"Duo, are you alright?" asked Quatre in a panic, not a moment after Heero left—the harsh sound of the door slamming was still ringing in their ears. The blonde was standing in front of Duo, hands on the other pilot's shoulders and a worried expression gracing his innocent features.

Duo's violet eyes were teary and downcast when he muttered quietly, "I'm fine." How could this be? Why was Heero so hell-bent on killing himself? What had he done to think he deserved that? Or, what _hadn't_ he done, to deserve such a 'punishment'? Duo was completely baffled, his mind dwelling on answerless questions as Quatre became less and less convinced by Duo's muttering of being okay.

Trowa and Wufei said nothing as Duo staggered over to the door that Heero had disappeared through, only moments ago. Quatre, however, said in a concerned tone, "Don't follow him, Duo... Heero's made up his mind, and there's no changing it..." he took a few steps forward, and Duo's hand hesitated over the doorknob. "It'll be hard enough with him gone—we don't need him to kill you, too." The sorrow, regret in Quatre's tone was what forced Duo into action, strength renewed.

He glanced over his shoulder, back at the others, his hand clenching the doorknob tightly now, "I'll save Heero. I'll change his mind. If not, then... then I deserve to die with him." And then Duo pulled open the door, stepping out into the chilly morning air.

He couldn't hold back the shiver.

. . .

_I'm quick to wait, and so to hate_

_They call me gracious for my patience_

_And I feel proud under that shroud_

_And all the while it's all evasion_

. . .

Meanwhile, Heero rushed down the familiar path to the Gundam hangar. It was only a matter of time before Duo got to him, he was sure, so he had to hurry. Distantly, from the direction of the safe house, Heero heard Duo call his name, scream his name. Time was already running thin.

Heero had a plan for his second attempt at suicide. One that would surely work. He'd take his Gundam, and fly out to the ocean again. Only this time, he wouldn't jump off the cliff to drown himself. No, he'd let his Gundam sink to the bottom of the deep water, then open up the hatch. The pressure would surely kill him immediately, peacefully, and he would truly be lost to Earth's icy, watery depths.

It wasn't long until Heero got to the old, abandoned hangar that served as a hiding place for the five Gundams. He fumbled with the locks for a moment before pulling open the heavy metal door and slipping inside. He could already hear Duo catching up to him. The time he had to escape was almost up. Heero bolted through the dim hangar towards his Gundam, his heavy sneakers pounding loudly on the cement floor as he ran. It took eternally too long to get to Wing ZERO's side—in fact, he didn't even make it.

There was a crack of a gun, and the sound of the bullet hitting the ground not far from where Heero was running. The suicidal pilot stopped short. Duo had found him. It was too late now. He wouldn't be able to get away... without killing Duo first. Could he really do it?

Heero turned to see Duo walking into the hangar, the bright light from outside making him appear as nothing more than a black silhouette. But once he stepped into the shadows, the lines and colors defining Duo became clear—the gun he was holding, pointing at Heero, became visible. Heero's frozen cobalt eyes widened ever so slightly at the sight of the weapon, but he did not falter in his rigid stance. He was not afraid. If Duo was going to shoot him, then so be it. The peaceful safety that he sought would simply come sooner.

Duo stepped closer to Heero, only stopping when they were about ten feet apart. Two sets of eyes, violet and cobalt, glittered in the darkness of the mobile suit hangar. "You can't, won't do it," Heero stated, his gaze never leaving Duo's. He didn't even need to nod to the gun in Duo's grasp. Duo knew what he meant.

"Try me," Duo hissed, voice equally as cold. He cocked the gun, index finger tense over the trigger. "There's nothing stopping me from pulling the trigger."

"Go on then, shoot," Heero ordered, secretly glad that it would end so soon. Something in his heart however, the last bit of warmth in the frozen, drowning wasteland that was Heero's jaded soul, throbbed at the thought of how killing him would affect Duo. Heero... didn't want Duo to die. He didn't want him to go through the heartache of killing an ally. And yet, Heero was not fearful of the torment that would overcome the braided pilot when Heero himself died. It was a delusional sense of logic.

Duo muttered a quiet, "Yes, sir," before taking the gun and pressing it to his temple, the cold metal making his body tense involuntarily. If Heero was going to die, then so was Duo. It was as simple as that. "If you die, I die too. Goodbye, Heero." His finger began to pull the trigger, slowly, ever so slowly.

_Some humor here to fend off fear_

_And I'm a little more lost, oh dear_

_So to save face I'll hold my place_

_So I may safely feel alone_

"NO!" screeched Heero, launching himself at Duo. The cry had contained more emotion than had even been heard from the suicidal pilot. Heero barreled into Duo, tackling him to the ground and wrestling the gun from his grip. Duo didn't fight him. Heero pulled away after that, though, standing and taking a few steps back. In both hands, he clutched the gun that had nearly taken Duo's life.

Duo remained where he lay for a few moments, secretly thankful that Heero had stopped him. There had only been one bullet in the gun to start with, which he had already used, but still, it meant at least _part _of Heero cared. Duo sat up, staring at Heero now. The suicidal pilot's hands were shaking, and he moved the barrel of the gun so that it was pressing over his heart. He was going to shoot himself with the empty gun.

"You... why would you do that, Duo?" Heero's voice was trembling just as much as his hands. Duo's little stunt had shattered Heero's emotionless exterior, bringing the hidden emotions to the surface. It'd be easier to get through to him now.

"I can't let you die. You're too important for me to just stand by and let you commit suicide," stated Duo, tone just as serious as Heero's usually was. He took a step forward.

And Heero took a step back, "Why? Why am I so important? _Inochi_—Life... Life is cheap. Especially mine. I don't see how anyone, how you, could 'care' about a failure like me so much." He was still holding the gun over his heart, ready to shoot the nonexistent bullet in an attempt to end his life.

"You're wrong, Heero... life is a very important thing. Isn't it what we've been fighting for all this time? Why would we fight and kill for something supposedly so worthless?" Duo asked, sorrow darkening his violet eyes as he stared at Heero.

"I... I don't know..." whispered Heero, looking away. After a few moments, however, he met Duo's gaze, speaking at a normal volume, "But it doesn't matter. Even if life isn't worthless, a killer like me deserves to die. I'm sorry to... disappoint you, Duo." And with that, Heero closed his eyes and pulled the trigger of the gun, thinking he would finally escape the torturous world and sink into a deathly solace. But he was wrong. The empty gun made nothing more than a loud, hollow click, the mechanisms within it trying to fire without a bullet. Heero's eyes opened a moment later, going wide and glittering with shock. He was still alive. There was no pain, no quiet peace. Nothing had happened.

"Sorry, Heero, but there's no more bullets in that gun... they're all right here," Duo said after a minute or so, pulling out a small magazine of bullets from his pocket.

Heero just glared at the other pilot, still clutching the empty gun tightly.

"Heero..." Duo started, his gaze falling to stare at the blank cement floor, "If you kill yourself, I won't be able to go on." Duo's voice was barely above a sorrowful whisper, yet Heero could hear it clearly from where he stood. "I will take my life the minute you end yours."

Heero's reply was cold, harsh; his emotionally detached exterior was rebuilding, "I won't let that happen."

Duo looked up through his unruly bangs, his head still bent, "And how will you do that? You'll be dead, Heero. I'm pretty sure you know that you can't move or anything when you're dead." Duo's dry, cold, cruel sarcasm nearly sent a chill down Heero's spine—he hardly managed to suppress it. But that didn't stop the hurt expression from glinting in his cobalt eyes.

"The others will stop you," Heero said quietly, fearful of Duo killing himself if he committed suicide. Duo's plan to prevent Heero's death was working.

Duo took a step forward, then another. He forced his tone to be angry, to be loud, trying to get his point across, trying to get Heero to see reason, "How, Heero? Do you see them here now? How will they stop me if they're not here, if you're not here? My fate is sealed Heero, the instant your heart stops beating, my life is as good as over!" Duo swallowed hard, forcing out his next words, the words that would surely stop Heero's deadly intentions in their tracks, "...I ...I love you too much to let you kill yourself..."

"D-Duo..." Heero whispered, completely shocked by Duo's quiet words. The gun fell from his trembling hands and clattered loudly, echoing, as it hit the cold cement floor. The fact that somebody cared, that somebody could see past his failures and mistakes, that somebody who was a killer like him could... it finally hit a nerve, finally clicked in Heero's despondent mind. He was not alone. He didn't have to kill himself... to find the solace, the peace, the safety that he sought.

_Glad the waters are so shallow_

_When the river runs so cold_

_Glad the waters are so shallow_

_When the river runs cold_

Duo took a few more steps forward, and Heero did not back away. He reached up, wrapping his arms over Heero's shoulders, encouraging the other to return the embrace. Heero was almost... scared to give in to the feeling of comfort, comfort that did not come with the silent solitude of death... Would Heero be able to take it if he lived on? Would it be too hard to survive? To cope with the heartache and failure of the several unsuccessful missions to come? Heero didn't know. He could not find the answer.

And yet, Heero let his arms wrap loosely around Duo's waist, let his lips press gently against Duo's forehead. It seemed as if Duo had saved Heero just in time, before the icy, watery depths of despair got too deep for him to handle. Duo was glad, because Heero was safe now, safe from the cold ocean, river, water that had nearly dragged him under. Heero had most certainly found the solitude and peace, deep in the havoc of war. It was over now, Heero's thoughts and actions of suicide were over now.

_Glad the waters are so shallow_

_When the river runs so cold_

_Glad the waters are so shallow_

_When the river runs cold..._

Owari

* * *

**you like? please review! **

**uhm so yeah, i'm not sure if i like the end, cuz like it just kinda _ends_, but its not like i really could've dragged it out any further...**

**anyways, now that this is finished, i'm hoping to finish the other big thing i have goin at the moment (you'll see), and then start on a big idea that i got the other day. there's also a short drabble i'd like to write, so keep your eyes peeled! XD  
**

**so yeah! bye!**


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